Design of experiment: November 20, 2019 – The existential relationship between a refrigerator’s open or closed binary state and the refrigerator’s contents held therein.

Today we join our hero working diligently, as always, on the confounded act of writing. You know him of course as a person perpetually perplexed with the world’s great mysteries. Today is no different. Today we’ll be looking at a refrigerator.

Specifically, we ask: If a refrigerator light indeed goes out when the door closes, would any food known to be contained therein still be there when the refrigerator door is closed?

Assumptions: First, the refrigerator door has a binary state of open and closed. Second, based on previous physical evidence, the luminescence incident of a filament’s thermal reaction to electron flow is binary as well. However, its state comes with conditions.

The first condition: All known universal laws of physics apply to the refrigerator, its contents, and the mechanisms assembled to create the device commonly known as “the refrigerator”.

The second condition: There must be available a sufficient and continuous flow of electrons to the light’s filament when required.

The third condition: The sufficient and continuous flow of electrons is required when the door’s binary state of open is true. The sufficient and continuous flow of electrons is not required when the door’s binary state of closed is true.

The fourth condition: There is a suitable device designed such that it mimics the refrigerator doors’ binary state of open or closed. This device must “switch” the flow of electron to the light’s filament based on the state of the door’s binary position.

The fifth condition: The “switch” device is operable within the defined specifications of this experiment. It must properly allow flow of electrons when the binary state of the refrigerator door is open and inhibit the flow of electrons when the binary state of the refrigerator is closed.

Experimental Procedure: Two 12-ounce aluminum can’s containing the fermented product of barley, hops, and other ingredients as supplied by the Perrin Brewing Company of Comstock Michigan have been placed on the top shelf of a standard Whirlpool refrigerator.

Over the course of a week, the binary state of the refrigerator door was toggled. Upon each toggle, an observation was made of the contents of the refrigerator. In 53 of 54 open states of the refrigerator door, it was observed that the two 12-ounce can had not 1.) Changed their relative position to the other refrigerator contents, and 2.) A control group was queried “Is there any beer in the fridge?” through out the course of the week. In 48 of 54 state changes, the query was answered as an affirmative “yes”. The remaining instances were answered in similar fashion with the suggestion “Remove your buttocks from the sofa and look for yourself”. These incidents are within the tolerance of statistical allowances and considered erroneous data.

On the 54th opening of the refrigerator door, one of the 12-ounce cans were missing. While the suggestion of quantum phenomena was considered in explanation of the missing 12-ounce can, it was later found out one of the lead experimenters consumed the beverage.

On the 56th opening of the refrigerator door, the remaining 12-ounce can was found to be missing. Again, the suggestion of quantum phenomena was discussed, however it was discovered the same lead experimenter had removed and consumed the beer on the 55th opening of the refrigerator door.

Observations: On each observable instance the refrigerator’s door state between 1 and 53 the two 12-ounce cans were found to be present. Further, at each query “Is there any beer in the fridge?” also proved truthful, it can be concluded that

1.) At a minimum, the sensory perception of two 12-ounce cans on the top shelf of the refrigerator were true on every change of door state to the observer. Therefore, while we cannot definitively prove the two 12-ounce cans were the exact same in each state change, we can conclude that at least two 12-ounce cans gave both the control and experiment group the same sensory information: the contents of the refrigerator remained constant regardless of the door’s change of state.

2.) Only when the lead experimenter removed, presumably consuming, the two 12-ounce cans did the contents of the refrigerator change. We can conclude that the refrigerators contents only change state when acted on by an outside force.

Conclusion: Though there is no absolute physical proof that the 12-ounce cans consisted of the exact same material make up each time the refrigerator door state toggled, there is sufficient evidence that the sensory data presented to the observer at each state change was similar enough, if not the same, in nature to two 12-ounce cans of Perrin Brewing Company Black Ale.

The binary state of a refrigerator’s door has no correlative effect on the refrigerator’s content perceptible sensory data. The only correlative effect on the refrigerator’s content perceptible sensory data was when the contest was acted on by an external force.

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